waiting

Earlier today I thought maybe I was in early labor. Yesterday I thought I might have been in labor too. Over the weekend there were several times that I thought I was, you know, maybe in labor. Because this baby boy is doing flips in there lately that don’t feel like the usual pains of late pregnancy. These new pains are more stabby, grinding, pummeling pains – like he’s trying to get out but not in the traditional way. I keep hearing that it’s because I’m in my late thirties and this is my third baby, but what about those women who have seven or eight kids and don’t finish up until their late forties? I’m not convinced.

We’re at week 39 and this is exhausting. I’m up all night with major hip pain and of course every time I wake up from the pain I have to get out of bed to pee. And how’s this for irony – I’m so uncomfortable lying down that I put off sleeping by staying up binge watching Billions with Robbie every night until way past our bedtime just to put off going to sleep. So I’m tired.

We should be spending our nights preparing for this baby. We haven’t even picked a name yet. Finn has been set on Sweet Flower for at least two months and since we haven’t come up with an alternative, he’s grown pretty attached to the idea that we’re going with his suggestion.

I had an appointment with my somewhat aloof, mildly sarcastic OB today and she told me that I am 50% effaced and 2cm dilated. She wants to do a non-stress test next week and then enter discussions about induction if I haven’t given birth yet. I’m drinking raspberry leaf tea and I’m toying with the idea of trying some of the more creative natural induction methods, but Robbie and I are going to wait for Sweet Flower to decide his own birthday as long as everyone is safe and healthy.

So I’ll be over here, uncomfortable and willing labor to begin with cups of raspberry leaf tea. Maybe I’ll write another blog post before Sweet Flower is born, maybe I won’t.

PS – we don’t actually want to call our baby Sweet Flower. Any boys’ names you might have will be considered. We’re looking for something strong but sensitive,¬†sophisticated but modest, intelligent and witty, mysterious yet accessible, philanthropic, confident, stylish, compassionate and devilishly handsome. Or just not a mass murderer.