Rob is in Bahston with friend to watch the Super Bowl so it’s just me and the boys. We’re doing the ushe for a 24 hour period without daddy. PJs all day, popcorn and smoothies, pizza for dinner. And this morning we tried on mum’s boots while Bennett did headstands. Like I said, the ushe.
I somehow convinced Finn to take a nap with Bennett and Jules, even though he dropped his nap months ago. I’ve had three coffees so far today, but I’m not feeling as “alert” as you’d expect. I complain a lot to friends and family about lethargy and my sluggish metabolism. I’ve been doing it for way too long to be taken seriously. I always introduce the idea like it’s a mystery. “Why am I so tired all the time?” They look at me and shake their heads and offer something like “you’re a mother to three kids under 5?” Then I say something like “I’ve eaten nothing but mini-twix bars since Wednesday” and for some reason they get mad at me. And I don’t blame them. I once accused my flatmate of shrinking my wool suits in the dryer before I worked out that I’d gained 10 pounds during a month long stay-cation in the apartment. My flatmate said, “You’ve eaten nothing but carbs for two months, stop complaining”. He was right. I didn’t stop though.
Self sabotage. I’ve been like this for as long as I can remember (Rob’s a lucky man, huh?) But this past few weeks I’ve kicked things up a notch. It’s basically been a competition with myself to see how much chocolate I can eat before I get a headache. I blame Finn. His birthday, anyway. I always go overboard with party food. I bought 30 cupcakes for 12 children. Then two sets of siblings ended up not making it, so it ended up being 30 cupcakes for eight children. I also bought a truckload of candy.
I had to work hard those first few days to get through the cupcakes; there being a shelf-life for baked goods and all. Then it was onto the candy. I really just needed to get it out of the house so I didn’t end up giving it to the boys as bribe candy (because obviously that’s bad parenting). In my defense, I did ask Rob to take a huge bag of mini Milky Ways, Twix, Snickers and 3 Musketeers to his office, which he didn’t do – forcing me to eat the entire 4 pound bag in a week.
Last week I felt a little twinge in my molar when I was eating fro-yo. I think I have a cavity. And then two days ago I got a huge breakout right near my lip.
But my main concern is that I’m always so tired. So I’ve decided to stop eating sugar. Leandra did it for a weekend – I’m going to do it for a week.
So starting tomorrow, I’m not eating sugar unless it’s naturally occurring, like in fruit. I am also going to try to say only positive things about people for a whole week after I saw how graceful David Harbour was about Winona being completely weird during his acceptance speech at the SAG awards. (Okay, that was half positive and half negative but like I said, I’m starting Monday).